God Talk

 

My Pastor husband and I have always been aware that we are distinctly different.  We are strong examples of the famous adage “opposites attract.”  We gained labels describing our differences when we took the Clifton StrengthFinders® assessment test.  Tim is an achiever who likes to complete lists and tasks; I am adaptable and love to live in the moment (especially if it’s fun).  Tim is strong in belief and what is appropriate; I am big on empathy and cutting everybody some slack.  Tim is great at connecting dots and helping people see where different choices will take them and how things will play out; I roll through everything positively thinking it will all be fine. 

We struggle at times with our distinctiveness; and we are great balances for each other.  For years, my Pastor husband would come home from work and ask, “what did you do today?”  I hated that question.  I had some weird perception in my mind that if I hadn’t done enough tasks, he would be upset or disappointed in me.  He just wanted to know about my day, nothing more.  Thankfully, he learned to ask, “how was your day?” which I could then happily answer with all sorts of emotive answers.

In our culture, our days are comprised with what we can or should accomplish.  We often define ourselves by what we do: our jobs and/or what fills our time.  It stands to reason then that our conversations are filled with the variety of things that consume our schedule. Gods Word tells us we are to be talking about God throughout our day. 

In Deuteronomy 11 Moses is instructing the children of Israel. In the first 17 verses he reminds them of all God has done for them: freed them from slavery in Egypt; rescued them from Pharoah’s army; provided for them in the wilderness; and brought them to the Promised Land. Moses informs them they are to obey God’s commands and rely on God.  He will be their provider.  He clearly states they are to love God with all their heart and soul.  Then verses 18 & 19 say,

“Imprint these words of mine on your hearts and minds, bind them as a sign on your hands, and let them be a symbol on your foreheads.  Teach them to your children, talking about them, when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

We are to be talking about God throughout our day.  Who He is, what He has done and what He is currently doing is to be part of our normal, every-day conversation! We should be talking about what Christ reveals to us through His Word, through prayer, through life experiences, and through others.  We are to be discussing what God reveals about our struggles, and the steps of obedience He gives us.  God is to be at the core of every discussion. His influence should be evident in every element and every moment of our lives.  He should be woven into every aspect of the “What did you do today/How did your day go?” discussion.

Today is Memorial Day.  Your weekend may have already been busy with bar-b-ques and the gathering of family and friends.  Your conversations have probably ranged from the basketball finals to mask-wearing to your upcoming vacation and a myriad of other topics.  As you finish out this holiday weekend, and as you enter a new work week, would you consider talking about God and who He is to you?  Challenge yourself to bring up how God is moving in your life in just one conversation each day.  Begin the shift from focusing on what we do, to who God is. Our lives and our conversations will be richer.  

Picnic photo by Ryan Jacobson on Unsplash

Winning

 

My husband got a great board game for Christmas this past year called Pandemic Legacy. It’s designed so that the game is played once a month (twice if you lose) for an entire year. Once a month we have an opportunity to save the world from a Pandemic, you either all win or you all lose!  As you play, you uncover different rules or scenarios that affect the game.  The box comes with stickers and new pieces that we add to the board so that it plays differently every time we play. We are committed to saving the world, one game at a time. You’re welcome.

There’s a point in every game when we feel panic surging quickly to the surface.  We notice the card stack dwindling and once the cards are gone the game is done.  We begin to talk a little faster, and ideas jump back and forth more intensely as we figure every possible way to finagle the rules toward a win.  We fear the title “Loser.”

Sometimes life feels that way.  You’re not winning and losing feels inevitable.  You try to creatively manage all the pieces of your life. 

•    Take a little from here, pad a little there. 
•    Move a position here, stay determined there 
•    Give up something you’ve been saving for “just in case,” and hope the cards fall in an advantageous manner. 

The voice in your head lies to you and says you are in a no-win scenario.  You wonder why you can’t discover the perfect answer and you want to demand who changed the rules.

As believers in Jesus Christ, we know we are to bring our needs to God.  We’re familiar with verses like James 5:13, “Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray…”; Psalm 17:6, “I call on you, God, because you will answer me…”; and Luke 18:1, “…pray always and [don’t] give up.” Are you like me and think “I am praying – a lot!” and you’re still not “winning?”

Perhaps we have the wrong concept of winning.

We tend to see prayer as a very distinct behavior, fundamental to our spiritual growth.  It evokes images of kneeling, a bowed head, closed eyes, and folded hands.  The Bible states several times we are to pray continually.  It’s hard to blend the picture of a humbled kneeling saint praying unceasingly with our busy, overscheduled lives.  We wonder how we are to practically live life on our knees.

In both Romans 12 and 1Thessalonians 5, the directive to pray continually is tucked in the in the middle of a “Christian checklist of behaviors.” The word used in 1Thessalonians (adialeiptos) means “uninterruptedly, without omission –without ceasing.” Romans 12 uses a different word (proskartereo) that means “to be earnest towards, to persevere, be constantly diligent...” Paul is teaching that while we are comforting the discouraged, helping the weak, acting patiently toward everyone, rejoicing, giving thanks, detesting evil, loving others, honoring one another, serving diligently and enduring affliction we are to be intentionally engaged in an ongoing conversation with God.

Imagine your closest friend and how you interact. The conversation is non-stop.  If there is silence, it’s comfortable and comforting.  When you see something intriguing, you bring it into the conversation.  When she has a fresh idea or opinion, she suggests her thoughts.  You both agree and disagree as you discuss.  You give and take, learn and adapt.  You feel valued and heard; you cherish what she brings to your life.  All of this happens while you are shopping or hiking or baking or entertaining your children or a myriad of other activities.  It’s the wonder of relationship. 

God is longing for that with us.

Perhaps the “winning” we are hoping to discover isn’t finding the ultimate answer to what will fix our circumstance. Winning is not feeling successful or good or happy or having everything look Instagram perfect.  Winning is connecting with God and building a deeper relationship. 

We won last month playing Pandemic Legacy; we saved the world.  That’s not what made the evening successful.  It was the laughter and friendship that eased away the stress of the week.  It was fresh insight discovered as we chatted.  It was the feeling of belonging.  God offers all of that to us.  He’s inviting us to participate in a continuous, ongoing conversation with Him that builds our relationship. Winning is experienced as we share our thoughts and ideas, our hopes and fears, our expectations and questions, our needs and longings, all the while listening and living day-to-day life with our God who loves us.

Dirty Windshields

 My car needs a bath. I noticed on the on my way to work the other day how distracting the windshield is. The dead bugs and the bird poop aren’t blocking my line of sight; they are blocking my view.  When I’m driving, I can’t help but continually notice the gunk.  Somewhere in my mind I recognize the blue sky and brilliant sunshine, but I keep coming back to the filthy windshield.  I think about taking the car through the car wash.  I’ve even considered giving my baby a thorough scrubbing in my driveway.  She’s still dirty.

I woke up the other morning with emotions left over from the night before.  I felt tired, grumpy, and discouraged.  The words I began to say to myself were like the dead bugs and the bird poop on my windshield.  I knew there was blue sky and sunshine; I knew God loved me and was in control.  I couldn’t get my thoughts to focus on the truth in front of me.  I was distracted by my mess of emotions.

Have you been there? 

•        A day doesn’t go as planned, and the frustration flows into the next day.
•     You hope someone will speak words of support after you share openly, instead you feel unnoticed.
•     You thought you would get more done over the weekend and Monday came too early.
•     You planned to say words of encouragement and understanding, but they sounded critical and unkind.
•     You put your best foot forward but never heard what you offered was appreciated or liked.

Sometimes we expect others to give us what only God can give.

I admit, on those dirty windshield days, I want my husband to come home and declare I’m taking you out for dinner!  I want him to show up with flowers and ice cream.  I want a surprise flash sale to pop up in my inbox from my favorite store.  I want one of my children to call me and say “You’re the best mom ever!  I love you!”  I want the house to magically clean itself and all the clean laundry to find its way to the closet.  I don’t want to deal with my emotions, admit I held on to what I should’ve let go hours before, and humble myself before God to confess my sin of selfishness and unbelief.

God reminded me after my dirty windshield morning of my word of the year, “and.” Two things can be true at the same time.  We can feel disappointed AND know that God still delights in us.  We can acknowledge our hurt AND find peace in God’s love for us.  We can admit we mishandled a circumstance AND know that God offers grace and forgiveness.

Isaiah 41:8-10 says, “But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, descendant of Abraham, my friend – I brought you from the ends of the earth and called you from its farthest corners.  I said to you: You are my servant; I have chosen you; I haven’t rejected you.  Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.”

I believe that promise is for us as well.  As followers of Jesus we are God’s servants, in fact we are His friends!  He has chosen us to be part of His royal family; He hasn’t rejected us.  He is with us, even on dirty windshield days.  He will strengthen us and help us to see beyond the dead bugs and the bird poop.  AND He will hold our hand the whole time. 

Pray for Me

 

I was struggling and I knew it.  My emotions were all over the map, I was teetering on the precipice of depression as I huddled in my corner alone.  I longingly desired to say the simple words: pray for me.  I couldn’t.  My mind shouted lies at me: you should be stronger than this; you’re supposed to be leading others; you can suck it up and fake it till you make it; Christians are supposed to be happy. 

Have you been there?  Those three little words, “pray for me,” can be so difficult to speak.  They admit need.  They declare an inability to measure up in some way.  They open the door to being perceived as less than. They possibly announce sin or failure.

At times we rationalize not speaking up because of humility. We don’t want to make everything about “me.”  We might even (mis)quote Philippians 2:3 & 4, “Don’t be selfish…think of others…take an interest in others.”

Let me be forthright: not being able to say those three small words is pride. Galatians 6:3 basically says if you think you’re “all that,” you are deceiving yourself.  If you think you are someone without a need: you’re lying to yourself. If you think you are someone who doesn’t struggle: you are fibbing with the best of them. If you somehow think you are someone who doesn’t sin (and that others think you don’t sin): boy has someone pulled a whopper on you!

We are nothing without grace. 

This is the truth of the gospel:

·       We are saved by grace alone (Ephesians 2:4 & 5).

·       Salvation is not a reward for good works that we have done (Ephesians 2:9). 

·       We all have weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15). 

·       God is merciful and will provide grace to help us when we need it most (Hebrews 4:16).

One of the ways God provides for us is through each other. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9 & 10 tells us two are better than one.

James 5:16 teaches us to confess to each other and share our spiritual needs with one another. We are then to pray for each other so that we find healing. If we want a life that is free from sin’s sickness, we must ask others to pray with us and for us.  I know, in my own life, there are many times others have interceded for me and rescued me because I was unaware of how sick I was. When we pray for each other, we are uniting (two are better than one!) before our heavenly Father so that God will bless us with spiritual health and wholeness.

In Matthew 18:19 Jesus says, “. . . if two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you . . .” This isn’t a way to beat the system.  You can’t create a pact that you and another will pray to win the lottery and BAM! You’ve won!  The context of the passage is dealing with lost people and restoring someone who has stepped away from following Jesus. Jesus is reminding us that He wants us to be successful in living with Him and for Him.  When we share a need with someone and she prays with us to overcome a temptation, or to step boldly out in faith, or to love more compassionately or whatever our spiritual life needs, God shows up -- guaranteed.

We are on this journey together; that’s the way God designed it.  We need each other. We need to be humble enough to allow others to carry our burdens, even as we willingly carry theirs. 

Will you please pray for me?  How can I pray for you? 

Photo by Rosie Fraser on Unsplash

Mother's Day: Yeah?

 

Mother’s Day is fast approaching.  The local Wal-Mart has boxes filled with flowers.  Every type of store has a collection of cards.  Childcare providers are planning art activities with macaroni and yarn.  Fathers are beginning to panic because they aren’t sure what will make mom happiest.  Mother’s Day is like Spring’s celebration of life, and everyone is invited to the party.

Not everyone anticipates Mother’s Day.  For years, a friend of mine would grieve because she didn’t have the child she longed for. Other’s have lost a child and every day is still painful. Some grieve the fact that their mother wasn’t much of a mother.  Some are mothers who feel like a failure because their child has shut them out of their life.  Some are annoyed over the celebration because they are experiencing a season of motherhood that is hard; motherhood wasn’t what they thought it would be. And there’s those whose mother is no longer living. They ache to make a phone call to someone who no longer can answer. 

I want to tell you: you are seen.  I see you; I ache with you.

More importantly, God sees you. 

In the Old Testament there is a story about a woman named Hagar.  She was the slave of a woman named Sari.  Sari’s husband was Abram, later called Abraham.  In Genesis 12, God promises Abram that He will make Abram into a great nation.  That promise is repeated in Genesis 15 when Abram talks with God about the fact that he doesn’t have any children. God promises Abram that he will father a child.  Life goes on and still no child.  In Genesis 16, Sari suggests a common cultural solution when one doesn’t have a child; she recommends Abram sleep with her servant and if a child is produced, it will be their child.  Abram thinks the plan is solid and he sleeps with Hagar.  Hagar gets pregnant, but the story doesn’t end with a happily ever after. 

Pregnant Hagar sees herself as better than barren Sari. Sari, living in her own pain, begins to treat Hagar exceedingly cruel, and Hagar runs away.  An angel of the Lord finds Hagar by a spring in the wilderness, and he asks her what her story is.  Hagar takes advantage of the willing ear and reveals all. The angel tells Hagar she needs to go back, and she will indeed have a son, a blessed prize in their culture.  In Genesis 16:11, the angel tells her, “You will name him Ishmael (which means God Hears), for the Lord as heard your cry of affliction.” Verse 13 of Genesis 16 says, “So [Hagar] named the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are El-Roi,’ for she said, ‘In this place, have I actually seen the one who sees me?’”

From this point on in the Bible, God is known as the God who sees.  He saw Hagar in the wilderness, and He sees you as well. No matter where you are, what you are experiencing, God sees you.  He knows exactly what you are facing and feeling.

The story of Hagar doesn’t end there.  She has a second encounter with God in Genesis 21. God has changed Abram’s name to Abraham and Sari’s name to Sarah.  Abraham is 100 and Sarah is in her 90’s when God blesses them with a son they name Isaac.  Despite God’s faithfulness to her, Sarah continues to believe Hagar and Ishmael are a threat, so she banishes them. 

In devastation, Hagar trudges back to the wilderness, this time with her son Ishmael. Her water is gone too soon, and scripture says she places her son under one of the bushes and sits a distance away because she can’t bear to watch him die.  Hagar has circled back to the end of her rope.  She may have remembered all God told her when she was pregnant.  The thought that God sees her may have been flitting in and out of her consciousness, but her fear and anguish are too great for the idea to gain any solid footing in her mind. 

Genesis 21:17-19 reads, “God heard the boy crying and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, ‘What’s wrong Hagar? Don’t be afraid, for God has heard the boy crying from the place where he is.  Get up, help the boy up, and grasp his hand, for I will make him a great nation.’ Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well.  So she went and filled the waterskin and gave the boy a drink.”

In Hagar’s first encounter with God, she knows God to be the one who sees her.  In her second encounter with God, God helps her to see.  That’s who God is for all of us.  He sees us, and He helps us see what we need to keep living. 

This week when your emotions are raw.  This week when grief overtakes you in a moment.  This week when memories aren’t enough to fill the ache.  This week when your dreams seem excruciatingly unfulfilled.  This week when your pain and longing run too deep to describe.  God sees you. He is waiting to help you see.  He’s prepared to show you how there can still be life. 

I’m praying for you.