Living Like Ugly Betty

I am addicted to Ugly Betty.  Yes, I admitted that. It's true. Several years ago, I watched the whole series, episode after episode.  I'm repeating my Ugly habit.

I identify with Betty.  No, I don't have braces and I don't ever wear a poncho.  I can't make empanadas, and I don't go as wild when I mix my patterns.  I do connect with the idea of wanting so badly to fit in, and just not doing it right.  My guess is we all feel that way at times.

The best thing about Betty is she stays true to herself.  She rarely apologizes for who she is, she's proud of her heritage, she's committed to her family, she works hard, does her best and continually aims to do things with integrity.

I don't want to be known as Ugly Betty, or even as a Betty-Wannabe.  I want to be known as a Princess.   I want to be seen as a hard-worker, one who does her best and is a woman of integrity. More than that,  I want people to see me as true to Christ, proud of being a born-again believer, committed to my family, my church and my beliefs. There may be some who call me Crazy Religious Nancy.  I know who I really am.

I am Fancy Nancy, God's child, a Princess of the King of Kings.
(Who happens to like Ugly Betty.)

Lost in Brogan

I went to Brogan today.  Never been there?  I've now been there, and I'm not sure I've been there! It's a quick little stop in the road, with a strong emphasis on 'QUICK!'

I had an appointment with a friend in Brogan, and, basically, I couldn't find her house.  Brogan is strategically located so that one's cell phone and/or navigation systems aren't useful.  So, I'm in Brogan, I'm late, and I can't find where I am supposed to be!  I begin to frantically call my husband, who I'm not sure ever got my cries for help.  I'm not sure what he could have done.  He wasn't in Brogan.  My logic was that he could "mapquest" for me, and help me figure out what I couldn't.  Regardless, I had no help, I was left alone... in Brogan.

I began to visually search the extremely rural area for a glimpse of someone breathing.  A cow, nor a goat would do, I needed a real live person.  I saw none.  Then, my eye spied a car, a parked car, outside a place of what I guessed was a residence.  I got my gumption and knocked on the door, prepared to ask for directions to the home I couldn't find.  The door was answered and a shirtless, tattooed, missing teeth man came out.  It occurred to me later that I probably wasn't doing a very safe thing, but I hadn't driven out to Brogan to turn around and just go home.  He couldn't help me. He did give me directions to someone who possibly could help me.  I got back in my car, prepared to drive to my next learning opportunity, when I realized I had received a text with directions to my destination!

I arrived to my friend's house in Brogan, enjoyed my visit, and headed back to civilization (though I've never thought of Ontario as "civilization" before!). On the way home, I processed my unexpected adventure.  I expect life to go as planned.  I had believed I would drive to Brogan, follow my phone's navigation and find my final destination with very little stress or confusion. I realized I have come to rely too much on my own independence.  I evidently had begun to think I "was all that."

Earlier this morning I had spent some time in God's Word, specifically in 1 Corinthians chapter 3. The verses I read reminded me that God is the one who does things.  I may think I do things, but as The Message translation says it, God is at the center of the process.  When I was in Brogan, I wasn't lost, God was with me.  I may not have been able to get a hold of my husband, God heard my cries.   I may have put myself in an unsafe situation, God's protection was with me.  I didn't know where I needed to go, God knew, and He is all that is truly important.

I've now been to Brogan.  Whether here, or there, my God is with me, and He is my center, my direction, my true north.

I've recently had one of those experiences that left me feeling inadequate.  It probably shouldn't have left me feeling that way, but I let my impressions of others, and what I thought they might think of me take center stage. My emotion wasn't based on reality, just a perception that I had of others, and how I might (or might not) fit in.

Isn't it amazing how we often judge ourselves based on what we think others might think of us. My misconception came from how I thought I might not appear smart enough, not up to par with everyone else.  There have been moments in my life I was afraid I wouldn't have the right appearance; my weight or my clothing or my hair wouldn't be stylish enough.  I've had experiences where I thought others wouldn't see me as "spiritual enough," or knowledgeable enough about God and His Word.  I've let fear keep me from inviting people into my home because I can't cook as well as others, or maybe what I thought would be fun, others would think is boring.

Inadequate.  Not good enough.  Too plain, too simple, too boring.  Less than.  A loser.

I am a firm believer that God created each of us uniquely and specifically.  I am creatively formed by a God who loves me and longs for me to see myself as He designed.  The Bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made.   My head agrees: "Sure!  The human body is quite an intricate, fascinating creation!" but I find myself in those moments when I don't translate that truth to myself specifically.  It's hard for me to state with heart certainty "I am fearfully and wonderfully made."  I question "How wonderful am I, really?"

The circumstance that had me feeling inadequate earlier this week went off with out a hiccup.  God was faithful and I left feeling capable and worthwhile.  Even now, God is reminding my heart, not just my mind, that He created me oh so very marvelously.  He is the One who can create from nothing.  He is the One who is limitless in His imagination.  He is the One who designs for a purpose that is eternal. He is the One who made me:       just.  as.  I.  am.

Unique.  Capable.  Positive.  Energized.  Creative.  Quirky.  Fun.  A Winner.

A Princess.

My daughter is getting married.  I've said the phrase, I've thought the phrase, I LIVE with the phrase since my days are filled with lists of wedding things to do.  But typing the phrase, letting the phrase truly sink in, is a different story.

When my sweet girl was a baby I would rock her and sing to her.  I most often sang "Jesus Loves Me" and "Oh How He Loves You and Me." Sunday morning, in church, we sang "Oh How He Loves You and Me."  I cried.  It wasn't a bad cry, it was just the idea that my daughter is getting married was sinking in a wee bit more.

As I sit here and type out these words, it sinks in a tad deeper.  My emotions well up and I become nostalgic. A part of me wants to jump in my car, race to where she works, kidnap her and spend the day spoiling her and cramming my heart and mind full of memories to pull out and comfort me on a later day.  She'd like the whole spoiling part, but I can't do it.  Not because I'm too busy (though I am) or can't afford it (which I probably can't) but because I know I need to force myself to loosen my heart's grip just a little bit more.

I'm happy for her.  I'm excited for her.  Her fiance' is a wonderful, marvelous, Godly young man.  He is a great fit for her, and I trust him implicitly with her.  None of my emotions come from a negative point of view. They just come.... because.

Because she's not really MY little girl any more.
Because I have to share her more
Because where I live really isn't home for her anymore.
Because her heart really belongs to someone else.
Because my life is a little quieter, a little emptier.
Because she won't be as available to just hang out on those "extra days."
Because she's creating her own family, away from me.
Because I become more on the "outside" of her life.
Because she will create more and more memories where I'm not involved.
Because, because, because....

Growing up is hard.  My growing up, and her growing up.  It's all good.  It's what I want for her, have dreamed for her, and would never want to keep from her.  And some days, it's just hard.

My daughter is getting  married, but my son still lives at home...

I am a firm believer in the idea that accessories help define a Princess' look. Regardless of size, age or style preference, you can set yourself apart by the accessories you choose to compliment your look. This slide show from Harper's Bazaar is filled with excellent information and will get your creative juices flowing.  Check it out!!

 http://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/fashion-articles/jewelry-guide-0210#slide-1

A Lesson from My Coffee Cup

The other morning I was up early, really early for me.  I was very tired and knew I needed copious amounts of my delicious morning elixir.  I filled my pink travel coffee mug, screwed the lid on and somewhat blindly headed out the door.  I sipped and sipped from my cup and just kept feeling as if I wasn't getting any caffeine into my still sleeping system. Then I looked more closely at my mug.  I was sipping from a closed lid!

That morning I had been reading a story about a guy in the Bible named Stephen. He had been doing some really cool miracles among the people and somebody got their panties in a wad. Rumors were spread about Stephen behind his back, and he ended up in front of all the local religious bigwigs defending himself. Stephen gives them a history lesson, covering events that they knew inside and out. Then he says, "You stubborn people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are always resisting the Holy Spirit, like your ancestors did!" (Acts, chapter 7, verse 51, New English Translation)

At that moment, when I realized I was trying to get coffee through a closed lid on my travel mug, God spoke to my heart. I was being a little like the guys Stephen confronted.  I had plenty of coffee, but it was closed off to me. God, ever so gently, pointed out to me that I was holding Him at arm's length in some areas of my life.  I had plenty of power, hope and wisdom available to me, but I was closed to some things the Holy Spirit wanted to do in my life.  I was not allowing the Holy Spirit to flow freely into my life, giving me the "umph" that I wanted and needed.  I was choosing to be selfish, to do only what I wanted to do, or doing things in my own sweet time.

I fixed my travel mug problem, and God fixed my heart problem.  God is good like that.  It's tough sometimes to do what God wants me to do.  The awesome thing about being in a relationship with the guy who created the whole world is He can do anything. He is teaching me, leading me and empowering me to be who He created me to be from the start:  A Princess of the King of Kings. Sipping my coffee is delicious and comforting.  Drinking in the Holy Spirit is the ultimate refresher and energizer.

I've decided to blog again!

Hello!  Let me introduce myself.....

Since it's been so long since blogging, I feel as if I need to clarify who I am!  No, I haven't changed and I haven't been doing some secret makeover. I've had plenty to say, I've just been lazy.  Yup, there you have it, the unvarnished truth.  Some days, even though I have lots of thoughts and I've been learning great things, I just don't get around to sharing them.  

Please, Color me Sorry.

Just yesterday I returned from camping in McCall, ID.  I got to hike, sit by the lake, read a book, shop for antiques, sleep in, play games, eat s'mores....  a delightful trip.  It was refreshing and invigorating.

The perfect summer respite.  

In the midst of my summer respite, God gave me a refresher from His Word. The Message paraphrases Psalm 119:17-20 "Be generous with me and I'll live a full life; not for a minute will I take my eyes off your road.  Open my eyes so I can see what you show me of your miracle-wonders.  I'm a stranger in these parts; give me clear directions.  My soul is starved and hungry, ravenous! --insatiable for your nourishing commands."  I love the phrase "show me of your miracle-wonders."  Just as I saw the beauty of nature and knew it to be a miracle of my God, I know that there are things He does in my life that need to be given that same declaration.  When a friend gives me a needed word of encouragement, that is a miracle-wonder from God.  When I read a verse that gives me the perfect boost of wisdom, that is a miracle-wonder from God.  When I am chosen to serve and enrich another's life, and I realize I've given someone else a precious gift from my obedience, that is a miracle-wonder from God.  

As a Princess of the King of Kings, it is my privilege and my responsibility to follow His leading, travel His road.  Some may think that following God's way is restrictive or binding.  I have to agree with the Psalmist when he says that when God is generous with him, his life is full.  I am hungry, ravenous, starved for the wisdom that He gives to me.  He fills my life over and over with miracle-wonders, and never do I feel as if I am missing out because I choose to do what God asks of me.  My life is richer, fuller, -- much like camping in McCall!  God truly refreshes and invigorates my very life. 

Now you need to Color me Blessed.