Do you like
introspection? I know several people who
seem to like it, or perhaps it's just that they like the outcome well enough
that they appear to jump into introspection without hesitation. I, on the other hand, avoid introspection
much like some people are avoiding the Corona Virus. I will do just about
anything, cleaning bathrooms included, to not look deep within myself and
answer difficult questions. I know it's
a fear problem. I'm afraid I'll find out
something about myself that screams failure.
I'm afraid that once that label of failure is pulled out and stuck on
some portion of who I am, it will multiply and cover my entire person. Add to my fear the fact that delving deep
into one's inner self is hard work, and this fun-loving girl is off to find
some ice cream and a good book.
The idea of fun has
been a somewhat invisible concept in our world lately. There is hurt and pain and dissonance. There is protesting and anger and argument. There are derailed plans, loss of jobs, and
strange illnesses. There is fear and
isolation and disappointment and depression.
Many of us feel lonely, misunderstood, abused, judged, trapped, bored
and cheated out of what should have been.
I can see several of these in my own life and it doesn't take any
serious introspection to unveil the sadness.
With all that is currently attacking our culture, social media is
flooded with the idea of evaluating one's inner processing. I remind you: I don't like introspection.
Perhaps you are like me. I want an easy
answer; I want a quick fix to hard
circumstances. I want a simple to do list to correct my skewed
perceptions. I want to be able to just
do what is necessary to rebuild my brokenness and move on. I want to rip off the band-aids that I've
used to cover up my issues and then push quickly beyond, forgetting my issues
were ever even there.
I don't think that's
going to happen. Nor do I think that's
healthy or wise.
I week or so ago I
read the first chapter in the book of James.
It's the chapter where James talks about being a doer, not just a
hearer. I was thumbing back through my
journal and came across some notes I had jotted down. God's Holy Spirit drew me toward what I had
written and the questions I had wondered. He challenged my soul to look more
deeply into what He was saying in His Word.
James begins his
letter talking about the benefits of tough times (verses 2-18). James clearly states that we are to lean into
God for wisdom when we go through circumstances that are demanding or grievous
or oppressive or even just puzzling. James goes on to say that we need to be
steadfast in continually seeking to see life from God's perspective. We need to be aligning what we believe to be
important with what God says is important, because every truly good and perfect
gift is something God provides.
James most have
known shifting one's perspective is especially difficult, because he gives
practical tips to help us with our about-face.
He tells us to listen well, wait to speak, and keep our anger in check
(verse 19). He also graciously informs
his readers that following his three simple tips will be easier if we clean our
life of "moral filth" and "prevalent evil" (verse 21). We are to be investing our time and energy in
actively learning about and obeying God's Word, His precepts and His
commands. James sums up this concept
succinctly by stating: "be doers of the word and not hearers only…"
(verse 22).
Then James provides
the supposedly clarifying image of someone who looks in a mirror, but forgets
what he looks like (verses 23 and 24). I've always thought it was a weird
concept. How does one forget what one
looks like? In my quirky imagination, I
see a person viewing her reflection and then as she walks away, her face slowly
fades until there are no features visible to describe. It could make for a
really freaky movie. James states that if you are not a doer, just a hearer,
you are deceiving yourself. This
deception is like looking in the mirror and then forgetting what you look
like. James 1:24 in the CSB versions
says, "For he looks at himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what
kind of person he was." That is
interesting phrasing to me. I have
always thought of this person as forgetting what he looked like, not forgetting
what kind of person he was. I can see
the connection to deceiving oneself with this idea. I'm sure I often remain blissfully unaware of
what I really look like, because I look once in the mirror in the morning, give
my appearance a mental thumbs up, and assume everything will look exactly the
same later… not taking into account the
wind, the rain, some perspiration, and so on. By the end of the day I could
easily be living in the perception that I'm looking good, when I may look as if
I just survived a tornado!
You may be
wondering, how does that image connect with being a doer of the word, not just
a hearer? I took some time and studied
some of the individual words. First of
all, the word for look means more than just glancing at ones self. It means to observe fully, consider, even to
the point of discovering something about ones' self. The words for "own face" can be
translated "his natural face."
The word for natural is the word genesis meaning one's natural self or
one's nature. When I consider these definitions
I come to this conclusion: when you look
into the Word and just listen to it, it's like taking the time to do some
serious introspection, discovering what you are really like, with all your
flaws and misperceptions and sins that you try to cover up, but you are
unwilling to change anything. It's like
looking in a mirror and noticing you've got dirt all over your face. You might say something like, "Oh! Look!
There's that dirt!" but you don't clean it up, and once you've walked away
you forget about the dirt and figure you're looking fine.
James is talking to
believers, people who claim to be changed by the truth of who Jesus is and what
He did on the cross. As believers, we
are followers of Christ and want to live life the way that He lived life. We know we are sinners and that we are always
in desperate need of God's grace. James
is challenging us to not get stuck and says things like, "that's just how
I am!" James wants us to lean into
God for His wisdom, and then take His wisdom so seriously that we follow
through with action. James wants us to take the time for introspection,
recognizing our individual struggle points, and then doing the work to align
our beliefs and behaviors so that they match God's wisdom. Introspection is
more easily accomplished when I am quick to listen to the Holy Spirit, slow to
retaliate or rationalize, and slow to be defensive or angry about what is revealed. As James
1:23 says, we are to "humbly receive the implanted word, which is able to
save [our] souls."
If I'm honest, the Holy Spirit's revelation made me
a bit nervous. I knew he was leading me
to the dreaded introspection. He has
been reminding me that God loves me, period.
I don't need to be afraid. I've
come to the conclusion that to be a doer is not just about stepping forward
into action, or checking things off a holy to-do list. I am to saturate myself in the person of
Jesus Christ. I am to be continually
seeking His wisdom and His perspective on all elements of my life. I need to do the inner delving and know
myself clearly from God's point of view.
I need to do the necessary changes to align my beliefs, perceptions,
attitudes and behaviors so that they match God's righteousness. It sounds a bit scary. And James 1:25 reassures me that it's how I
discover freedom, and it's how I become blessed. It's time to take a look in the mirror.
