Good Things

I recently read Psalm 126 and I was struck by the idea that I don't always live my life on the presupposition that God WILL provide good 'fortune.' I believe that God gives good gifts, but I think that I have begun to believe God gives little good treasures to help me survive what I perceive at times is a 'yucky life.'

Psalm 126 tells me that God gives good fortune, a good life. God gives so good that it is overwhelming and causes tears of joy. Admittedly, the Psalmist does talk about their fortune being RE-stored, about sowing in tears, about going out to sow weeping. Everything wasn't always peachy keen. And yet I sense from the Psalmist hope and the confident belief that God is in control even during the weeping. Even through their tears they have continued to sow, to believe that life is worth living, and trying, and working, and pushing forward. Good things are around the corner.

It made me wonder:
When was the last time I cried because I saw life was so overwhelmingly good?
Do I push forward, working, sowing and believing that God has Overwhelming Good just around the corner?
When life is hard do I still exercise hope and allow hope to grant me joy?
Have I bought into the world's definition of good and as a result, have missed seeing the good fortune God has already blessed me?
Am I willing to proclaim and declare that the Good I have been given comes from the hand of God Almighty?

I often say God is good. And I DO believe it to be true. I also believe God does give good gifts.  And now, I am praying that I will have eyes to see and a heart that KNOWS how overwhelming is the good in the life God has given me.

Cleaning my Closet

My email in-box has been inundated with clearance sales from all my favorite stores.  Every day I am sand blasted with 40% off, 50% off -- all the way to 70% off!  It's a shoppers dream!  I admit I have been scouring online for the perfect deal.  

This morning as I spent time alone with Jesus, I read in I Kings 14 and 15.  In those chapters, the Israelites are making poor choices.  They are choosing to follow other gods and God Almighty pulls back His blessing from them.  At times when I read stories in the Old Testament I am overwhelmed. I don't understand God's ways; why at times He is gracious, and at times He judges harshly.  I do believe I have begun to understand some of God's character: He is always working to draw us to him and His deep desire is to have a relationship with His creation. 

As I pondered what I read, I began to wonder about me.  Am I truly living with a heart and attitude that longs to obey?  Do I trust God to provide what I need?  Do I believe that however God chooses to bless me, I will be satisfied?  And if I do trust completely and believe wholeheartedly, why do I spend so much time looking for that special something that I can buy? I know myself well enough to grasp that I love putting pieces together.  I am fascinated by color, shape and style.  So I know that some of my excessive scouring and shopping is partly because of how I am wired.  I also realized this morning that God is challenging me to a deeper level of trust.  God very clearly told me this morning to clean my closet.  

I am pretty sure God doesn't challenge everyone to clean their closets.  I heard his voice very clearly, and I was obedient.  It sounds a bit strange, but it was fun!  There were some pieces that I immediately threw into the get-rid-of pile.  There were a few I tried on and was pleasantly surprised that they fit better than I remembered.  There were a few pieces I pondered over and struggled to make a valid decision.  As I went through the process I realized how truly blessed I was!  I made a short list of pieces that needed to be replaced, and an even shorter list of a piece or two that I would like to add.  I didn't need to be scouring sales for more, God reminded me that He really was providing all I needed.  

God gave me a precious gift of freedom this morning.  He released me from the fear of whether or not I am being obedient and/or trusting Him.  He blessed  me with the knowledge that He has satisfied me in so many ways, and then reminded me I just don't always see it. I still don't always understand why God does what He chooses to do.  I don't need to. God is teaching me how exceedingly trustworthy He is, and how amazing and satisfying life is when I am drawn into deeper relationship with Him. 

I am grateful, and I have been deleting all sorts of emails!

Let's Run!

The other night I ran into the local mall to pick something up.  I had gotten what I needed and was hurrying back to my car when I saw her.  She was holding fast to her mother's hand, tugging with all the enthusiasm her tiny little body could exhibit. "Let's run, Mommy!  Let's run!"  
She was pure delight!  And then she and her mom ran-- not fast mind you, most wouldn't have even classified it as a run.  The young mom smiled at her young daughter.  The precious little girl was bursting with pure joy and the anticipation of more joy to come, just because she could run.

I want to live life like that.  I want to urge those I am with "to run!" I want to be open to the best of all that is before me and encourage others to join in. I want to be excited about  possibilities and not be hesitant to rush forward. I want to not be so focused on what is to be accomplished that I miss out on how the journey can be crammed full of delight. I want to enjoy what I am capable of doing.

I want to live, really live.  

Jesus says in the Bible, John 10:10, "A thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, but I came to give life -- life in all its fullness." (NCV)

Satan is always trying to distract me.  He wants me to feel overwhelmed, too busy, under-appreciated, incapable, trapped, tired, bored.  No matter the picture the devil seems to paint, he's not really into living.  He leads me astray from the best that life can be.

When I see Jesus, when I choose to be obedient to what Christ says is important and significant, I choose life.  Sure there are boundaries to the life God challenges me to live, I'm sure the mom I saw in the parking lot of the mall had boundaries for her child. She held tight to that sweet little girl's hand -- there was a boundary to the expression of joy in running. The girl's joy was not diminished, it was enhanced, for her mom was participating with her, she could feel her mom's presence.  Abundant life with Jesus is like that. He participates with me in this journey of joy, I can know His presence!  His boundaries grant me freedom from fear of what could happen.  He is the one watching out; He is the one who will guard and protect.

The little girl's face and her exclamation "Let's run!" is staying with me.  She challenges me to delight in the day set before me.  She creates a desire in me to express more joy, become more uninhibited in my expression of wonder. She is an example to my soul to live -- really live.

Knowing Me

We once received a phone call from someone my husband and I knew a long time ago and our then teen-age daughter answered the phone.  The person on the other end of the line seemed to know an awful lot about her, in her perception, and she informed us she thought it was creepy.  As I think about it, if I were in her shoes, I would think it was creepy too!  
There is something about others knowing too much about me that always makes me a little hesitant to offer up consistently more and more information.  I can remember in High School choosing what information to keep locked away from my parents, though that was more to save my skin then any type of creeper aspect going on.  After I've spent a day shopping with my friend, I don't necessarily want to share ALL the details with my husband. When I am participating in a group discussion and I think of something to contribute, I have an inner dialogue with myself first to discuss whether or not I should speak up. It seems there is something inside of me that consistently screams "Noooo!  Don't do it!"  
I'm not always sure what my motivation is to protect all that extra information about me.  It's like I go into protective commando mode with all my inner thoughts, feelings, and attitudes.  (And yet, here I am typing away so that an unknown face can read what I'm thinking about.  Go figure.)
I've been pondering this line of thought today because of a reaction to a scripture passage I read this morning in the Bible:  
Psalm 139:1-6   
"O LORD, you have searched me and known me!  You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.  You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.  Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it."

I read the very first line and I was captured.  Normally the idea found in that first sentence would have me all fidgety and nervous.  This morning I was flooded with a sense of peace.  I felt safe; still wanted and still loved.  What an exceeding sense of freedom, to know, deep down assurance know, that the God who created the universe knows all there is about me and He still chooses to be with me.  He still allows me the privilege of entering His holy throne room and soaking in His presence.  
As I continued to read I was grabbed by the phrase "You hem me in."  I don't like being trapped.  My son likes to sit on me and hold my hands down so that I can't move.  I can only handle it for so long and then I start to freak out.  He thinks it's hilarious!  (I'm now thinking I need to plot some sort of revenge for such mistreatment of one's mother!) All that bonus info about me just to confirm to you that the idea of being hemmed in is not a generally good thing to me.  I don't even like being hemmed in on the highway, I have to get around those people! And yet again, peace overwhelmed me.  
When I read the phrase "lay your hand upon me," I pictured a parent, in a crowd, with his or her hand resting on the shoulder of his or her child.  The gesture isn't designed to necessarily keep the child from moving at all (that's called a choke hold), it's a movement to make sure what the parent values most is kept safe.  
God opened my eyes a little wider today to envision His love for me a bit more clearly.  His knowing of me is a fascinating thing.  He desires to give me good gifts and His gifts are always the best since He knows me so well.  He is so patient with me, even when I struggle with something over and over. He gets me, because He knows me, so he understands my struggles and why they are struggles for me.  He longs to keep me safe.  He doesn't want to trap me in a life that is boring and full of rules. He longs for me to LIVE! -- in safety, in His presence.  
My words are falling short of what I experienced this morning. Truly the final phrase of the scripture passage was exactly how I felt.  The revelation of God's Holy Spirit to my soul was too wonderful. It's still hard for my mind to wrap around.  

My heart is in awe of the Glory of God.  I say with the Psalmist, "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your words; my soul knows it very well." (verse 14)