Redefining Perfect

Have you ever wanted some thing , or wanted something to happen and then realized how hard it would be to accomplish it? Perhaps you entered a race, and then later realized how hard it would be to actually train. Or maybe you had a goal to lose some weight, and discovered too many cookies had you on speed dial and they kept calling you. Or maybe you wanted to earn your AA or BA, Masters or Doctorate degree but life kept interfering and you found yourself without funds, or you got sick, or someone in your family had a crisis and you needed to step in. Perhaps you've just wanted to have a day with literally nothing to do (a favorite dream of mine!) and to gain that one day seems to cost you a month of overtime and no sleep.  Sometimes I wonder why I do what I do - is it worth the cost, the time, the effort?  Sometimes I wonder if there's something better for me.

More often than not, I need to be honest with myself and admit I want life to be easier, more accomodating to me, more ideal - more "perfect."

My mailbox is currently being flooded with magazines picturing an idyllic Thanksgiving feast. My email inbox is already overflowing with Christmas gift ideas to purchase or create. Television talk shows are prepping me for holidays with amazing tips and tricks that a variety of "experts" are convinced I should implement. The picture perfect life is presented to me as possible everywhere I turn. My desk and my office, along with the laundry still in the dryer, the bathroom that needs be cleaned, and my checkbook that refuses to balance, are telling me a different story.
I have been spending some time soaking up God's Truth in Psalm 33 and I am beginning to wonder if I have the wrong image of the perfect life; the Psalmist lays out truth that tells me Christ gives a "perfect life."
1.) There is joy because of the LORD (verse 1). I know that I am loved (with an unfailing love) and that God in his great mercy has provided a way for me to have an intimate relationship with the King and Creator, God Almighty. In fact, the Lord is so amazing, and provides such joy, I should continually be coming up with new songs to praise him (verse 3)! A note in my NET Bible says, "A new song is appropriate because the LORD is constantly intervening in the lives of his people in fresh and exciting ways." What's not perfect about that? God constantly intervenes in my life so that I know joy, unfailing love, and intimacy.
2.) God is in control (verses 4-11). These verses are packed with the truth that God is the Creator and sustainer of our physical world. He literally spoke the earth into being -that's quite a bit of power and creativity! And ALL of God's Words are right, just and fair (verses 4.5). God can't go against who he is and he is ultimately faithful (verse 5); He is reliable and dependable and His plan, for this earth and all who dwell here, will happen (verse 11).  These truths really speak to the reality that my picture of perfect needs to be replaced with the fact that God Himself is the only perfection, and only He is absolutely worthwhile.
3.) God sees me and He sees You (verse 13). This is more than a "hey! I see you over there . . . way over there." The verse says God looks carefully, intently. closely. Verse 14 tells us that God watches or observes. Verse 15 says he made our hearts, therefore he understands what we do, why we make the choices we make, why I long for coffee and someone else longs for diet Pepsi (yuck). God is invested in me -I am his creation. If I were someone who designed a line of clothing, I would take extra care of what I created. I would make sure it was safe, protected, displayed so every one would see its awesomeness.  I would check seams and hems and embellishments to make sure the thread is strong and holding as it should. I would be proud of what I did. Why would I think God will be any different when it comes to me? God sees me and knows me: He knows where I will stretch and where I won't; He knows where my construction needs an extra seam; He knows where my design has flair, and what areas need to be hidden; whether I need to be buttoned up, zipped up or closed with a hidden hook and eye. God sees me for who He created me to be, I am perfect in His design,  and I can only know His perfection for me if I follow His choices, picked for me.
4.) God will demonstrate His faithfulness (verses 18-22). Sometimes God delivers and gives us the magazine-perfect picture. Sometimes God provides just what is needed to get through a rough time, like just enough food to survive a famine (verse 19). My oldest sister died of cancer more than fifteen years ago. I remember telling God as I looked at her in the casket, that he could bring her back to life, that it would be really good if she just sat up and started talking. I also remember God later speaking to my heart and saying, "is it not just as great a miracle that You and Your family are still serving and praising me, than if I had raised your sister back to life?" The famines of life are never experiences we want to repeat AND God remains faithful and perfect in the midst of them.  Through the love and mercy of Christ to me,  the pain and heartache of losing my sister taught me a perfect lesson that has sustained send encouraged me again and again and again.

Perfection isn't an ideal life.  Perfect life is found in the ideal person of Jesus. My heart has been reminded of how perfectly God intervenes on my behalf; I am composing a new song to sing, to God be all the glory.

Dot to Dot

I have always loved to color.  I'm not a "real" artist: I can't draw freehand. I do get enthusiastic about being creative. I thrive on decorating, rubber stamping, scrap-booking, occasional sewing or crafting, styling outfits, photography...  I just like playing with color.  When I was small, I liked finding dot to dot pictures in my coloring books. You know, those pictures that had just one element surrounded by a bunch of dots with numbers.  The goal was to create a finished picture by starting on the dot labeled with the number one and then connect each sequential dot with a line until the picture was complete. It was so fun to see what the picture would turn out to be.  It was as close to drawing freehand as I could get.  I enjoyed the combination of being creative and figuring out a puzzle of sorts.  I especially enjoyed the ones where you couldn't tell what the picture was until you were nearly done!  The other morning as I spent time with Jesus, he gave me a dot-to-dot adventure.

I tend to read various portions of scripture each morning.  They aren't passages necessarily designed to be read together, so often there is no obvious correlation between the different verses I read.  On this particular morning I began by reading Philippians 2:1-11. Paul is writing to the Philippians, encouraging them to be more unified.  He begins with reminding them of benefits they receive because they are believers in Jesus Christ.  He moves on to challenge them with the idea that since God is so generous to them, they need to be focused on working together to tell more people of God's goodness and plan of salvation. He clinches his argument by giving the example of Jesus, who is in fact God's son with all  power and divinity, and yet he chose to be as humble as the lowest servant and gave up his very life so that man could have a relationship with God the Father.  Paul reminds the Philippians that the goal is to have everyone acknowledge Jesus is Lord. That's a good goal, I can go with that.  
What grabbed my immediate attention though were the items Paul first mentioned in Philippians 2. Because I am a Christ follower I have been given gifts that fill color in my life: 1.) I get to be encouraged; I have encouragement always available to me because of Christ, who He is and what He's done for me; 2.) I am loved; 3.) That love provides comfort; calm, soothing, warming to my soul; 4.) I have fellowship. I have a constant companion, a sweet relationship, a friend, someone to always hangout with.  Bonus: this friend is none other than God Almighty; 5.) I have been given and continue to receive mercy.  I am accepted for who I am and I am forgiven.  Wow! That list is amazing! It's like Christmas every day!
And it does make sense that if God is going to be so generous to me, shouldn't I want to be as generous to those around me so that more could know Jesus as Lord and cash in on those same gifts? I admit that when I begin to think about what Paul admonishes in verse 3, "...each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself." my selfish inner diva takes a giant step forward in protest.  It's tough stuff having the same attitude as Jesus.
On that same morning I also read Psalm 31:1-5.  The Psalmist seems to be having a tough day, tough week, tough year in the beginning of this Psalm. He's begging God for vindication, to be rescued, delivered quickly!  He acknowledges that God is his protector, refuge and stronghold.  He trusts God with His life because God is faithful.  My initial reaction to the Psalm was a basic warm fuzzy; when I am in desperate need, God will be my safety net. God wouldn't let me stick with that.  He prompted me to take a second look and verses 3 and 4 became more  prominent.
"For you are my high ridge and my stronghold; for the sake of your own reputation you lead and guide me.  You will free me from the net they hid for me, for you are my place of refuge."
This is where God began to draw some dots and number them so that I could follow where He was leading me, and grasp the picture He was sketching. Dot #1: God gently asked me "what net are you becoming entangled in?"  I began to think about Philippians 2 and my selfish inner diva.  Dot #2: God really cut at my diva-syndrome because he pointed out that He would free me from the net, FOR THE SAKE OF HIS OWN REPUTATION. It wasn't about me. Dot #3:  My mind went back to Philippians 2 and the benefits I receive because I'm a Christ follower.  God is gracious to give me encouragement, acceptance, fellowship, comfort and forgiveness because that's who He is. He is my refuge.  Dot #4: Since Christ is freeing me, since my life is about His reputation, since God is continuously generous to me, since I claim Him as my refuge and stronghold, I am to choose to not do anything out of selfish ambition and look to the interests of others. That's who I am to be as a Christ follower.  Dot #5:  This nothing out of selfish ambition life is summed up in the phrase "Have the same attitude as Jesus."  The very life that God calls me to, is the very life He gives to me. Dot #6: I can trust God to enable and equip me because He is faithful.
My heart and mind are still striving to keep track of the dots and grasp the truth God revealed to me. As in with most dot-to-dot pictures, you end where you began.  God is faithful.  He is faithful to encourage me as I submit to being united with the very person of Jesus.  His love will comfort me when I struggle with the cost of having the same attitude as Jesus, and as I continue to commit to squashing my inner diva for the honor and glory of his reputation.  I don't have to walk this journey alone, God delights in fellowship with me.  And the truth that Jesus loves me and has forgiven me provides a firm foundation that anchors me.
I anxiously wait to see which colors God chooses to fill in the picture He is creating. The picture known as me.

In the Ebb

Life ebbs and flows. We all have good days and bad days. I have skinny days and chubby days. Some have productive days and lazy days. Others have painful days and pain-free days. It's the nature of things; it keeps the process interesting. Bad days enable us to appreciate the good days more. My chubby days teach me what is necessary to enjoy more skinny days. Lazy days recharge batteries so that productive days are even more productive. God even planned an "ebb"day, Sabbath, into the flow of a week! So why is it, when the ebb times come, do I tend to do a little whining, a bit of panicking, and a touch of moping?
I had an "ebb"moment just this morning as I sat having coffee with Jesus. We had our usual discussion over a passage of scripture, we touched on our Psalm of the week, and we read a  brief chapter together from a book our church is reading through as a congregation. Then, as is my habit, I go back over the notes I've made and listen for the Holy Spirit to help me connect the dots, emphasize a new truth, give me a nugget to focus on during the day. It's not that God was silent, He wasn't. God had revealed Himself in His Word, there were new thoughts, new ways of looking at familiar ideas. There just wasn't that rush of awe because a spiritual light bulb had been flipped on. Not even a tiny whoosh. I began to wonder: Did I come to Jesus with a bad attitude today? Am I just going through the motions? Have I allowed something in my life that has caused my passion to wane? Am I truly seeking truth, peace, joy, and God's purposes in my life?
God reassured me that I hadn't gone off the deep end. He revealed small areas that need to be tweaked so that I am more about Him than about me (a common discussion theme over coffee). He whispered these tender words to me: "Just be with me today. Just sit and enjoy these moments. There's no need for an 'a-ha' today. I want to be with you, just be with me."
Even as I write those words for this blog, the truth of that love whisper overwhelms me. God loves me so much, He gives me an "ebb day." A day to soak in again what I already know to be true. A day to step off the Crazy Train of productivity and expectations and just be: be honest with God about what's really going on with me; be real about what I need and don't need; be humble and submissive to who God is and not just what I perceive I am to do.
I wish I had the ability to describe the glory and peace that is thick in my living room. The room visually looks the same, yet every item is gently different. The pillow that says "Smile" tinkles with an angel's giggle. The pumpkin-scented candle that flickers floods the room with a unique holy aroma. The empty chair next to me is no longer empty - a tender face with twinkling eyes smiles at me with pure delight. The decor I had set out yesterday to celebrate Autumn seems to resonate with every picture and image of Fall I have ever seen. The cross-stitch on the wall of a beloved hymn bursts forth with sounds only my heart can hear. It's marvelous and miraculous. God is here,
My heart overflows with qratitude, because even in the ebb, perhaps especially in the ebb, God is present. And that's how life should flow.