Happy Birthday

Today is the birthday of my firstborn.  There have been many things about that day that I have forgotten in 29 years, and there are some things that will stay with me forever. She was beautiful the day she was born, and is beautiful now, 29 years later.  She and I are officially the same age now, 29. I have much experience in this season of life, so much to share with her. 

I originally hadn't planned on having children.  To be honest, I find children adorable and quite frightening if I'm left entirely alone with them.  To think that I would birth such a miracle and have to take it home with me, to care for, raise, keep fed and safe was something to make me hyperventilate.  And then something happened.  A switch was thrown, and I let my husband know that I wanted one of those soft, cuddly humans that scared me to death.  Longing overcame fear and God gave me the gift of a delightful, beautiful daughter. 

She has taught me much, as all children do to their parents.  God originally said to procreate and fill the earth, but I wonder at times if He knew that children were the perfect tool to form His people more and more into His image.  She demonstrated the marvel of how God created us in those months  of learning to roll, and sit, and crawl, and stand and then walk.  She reminded me of the wonder of the world and of learning as she toddled about.  She taught me to seek the face of God for wisdom and  patience when her first child tendencies exhibited themselves.  She revealed to me the delight of worship and unfailing love when she would give me those amazing chubby arm hugs.  She enabled me to see how the tradition of going to church was fascinating, marvelous and a precious homecoming every week when she started looking for churches to attend while we would be on vacation. She uncovered my own fears and insecurities when she would struggle and weep.  As I sought to comfort and guide her, God comforted and guided me. 

God astounds me as he gives me gifts I ask for, especially when I have no clue what I'm really asking. I am grateful that I didn't know what I was asking; I may have rescinded my prayer.  Instead, I was given a precious measure of joy that is beyond anything I can imagine  or express --even now, 29 years after the gift was given.  I continue to be thankful as she continues to teach me more about life and the God who loves us both so much. 

Happy Birthday baby girl. I love you.