There was spider on
the sliding door out to our deck the other night while I was making
dinner. He caught me off guard, and
freaked the living daylights out of me.
I had walked over toward the door to get into a cupboard and Sam, my dog
acted as if he'd like to go out. I
started to slide the door open when I saw him.
He was creepy. I began to realize
if I slid the door wide enough for my
dog to go outside, the spider could drop off the glass and be in my house.
I have an odd fear
of spiders. For some odd reason, I fear
they will jump on my face, grow instantly to a ginormous size and kill me. It doesn't make any difference how many times
I tell myself that's an insane idea. It
doesn't matter that I'm definitely bigger than the small crawly thing and can
crush it with my shoe. It didn't seem to
matter much last night that there was a barrier between me and that. . . thing.
I closed the door. I stepped
away. I took my dog to another door to
see if he really had to go out. And then
I finished making dinner with one eye on that monster just waiting to creep all
over me. When my sweet husband came
home, he rescued me and gained the title of Hero in my eyes and heart.
As I made dinner and
tried to fight my irrational fear, God spoke to my heart. He didn't try to defend his tiny
creation. I think my whole spider phobia
makes Him chuckle a bit and roll his parental eyes. Instead
God began to ask me questions about other fears in my life. Fear has become an issue that I have been
battling, and thankfully God is confirming strength and confidence within
me. And yet, Fear had begun to wiggle
into my thought processes again, and God knew He needed to squelch it.
God is so gracious
and patient. God reminds me again and
again that He is more than able to "accomplish infinitely more than we
might ask or think." (Ephesians 3:20 NLT) This morning God affirmed and
strengthened me in my battle against fear for I found myself comparing myself
to someone else and fearing that I was "less than." Romans 5:3-5 says, "We can rejoice, too,
when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop
endurance. And endurance develops
strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of
salvation. And this hope will not lead
to disappointment For we know how dearly
God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with
his love." (NLT) Fear is just a problem, a conflict that I
need to lay before my Lord and allow Him to develop endurance within me. Fear is a trial that is teaching me that God
created me, loves me (dearly Romans says!) and delights in me. Fear does not dictate who I am, nor who I
belong to. Fear doesn't change the truth
that I have been saved and have a confident hope in my salvation. Fear can't remove God's Holy Spirit from my
life. Fear is an emotional reaction and
my God is always bigger.
I still don't like
spiders. I will find someone to rescue me every time one crosses my path if I
can. And I am conquering fear, the every
day kind, the kind that paralyzes you and keeps you from living the life God desires. As I child of the King, I align myself with
the Israelites, God's children, and claim a promise made to them in Isaiah
41:9,10 "I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, 'You
are my servant.' For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I
will strengthen you and help you. I will
hold you up with my victorious right hand." (NLT)
All honor and glory
to the King of Glory, for He is accomplishing infinitely more inside of me.
Amen and amen.
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