Life before Noon

Some days are filled with quite a bit of living before noon.  Today has been one of those days.  I began my morning, coffee cup in hand talking with Jesus.  My coffee this morning was a tad unique since I had added cinnamon.  Before I went to bed last night, I was reading a book about ways to help boost your metabolism.  I have these pesky pounds I have added to my circumference and I'm having a difficult time sending them away, hence the book.  One of the chapters in the book was about cinnamon and my take away was that eating a teaspoon of cinnamon a day can help boost one's metabolism!  I was game.  So I added cinnamon to my oatmeal and my coffee.  I added a bit too much to my coffee, so tomorrow I'll know  better, but I was feeling good about myself and my game-on attitude toward the day. 

As I read my Bible and studied scripture, God reminded me that my faith is not for me alone.  I read the passage in John 20:24-29 about Jesus meeting Thomas at the point of his doubt. The Holy Spirit spoke and my heart heard that my faith is to so change me that it works as a catalyst to move me out of myself and share God's story with others. Jesus makes the statement, "Blessed are those who believe without seeing me." I don't think Jesus was telling Thomas he wasn't blessed, but Jesus was preparing Thomas' spirit to be prepared to tell others about the difference Jesus had made in his life.  There would be those, after Thomas, who didn't have the privilege of seeing Jesus, and they would be blessed when they believed even though they didn't get the chance to actually see the scars.  I realized I am one of those who is so blessed!  And Jesus was leading my spirit, as he led Thomas' spirit, to be prepared to tell the story. 

I then moved to a passage in Luke 21 about the widow giving her two small coins.  God's Spirit spoke again.  He connected the two stories for me, just as I shouldn't judge those who need "more" help to believe than others, I am not to judge what someone brings in service and honor to God.  God always sees a much bigger picture than I do, and I need to rely on His vision, His purposes.  God challenged me and asked what I was willing to give sacrificially: time? Money? Gifts? Relationship? Perspective?  I spent some time in prayer and I could feel God smiling on me.  I sensed His delight in my worship and my attitude.  I found myself enjoying all the details of my morning from the excessive cinnamon to lessons learned at the feet of Jesus. 

I headed off to my exercise class with a bounce in my step.  I am not a fan of working out, but I put myself to the task today without as much inner whining, though I did roll my eyes at the teacher several times when she said "Keep going! You can do it!"  At the end of the hour I realized I had kept up pretty good today and I had one of those rare-for-me moments when I was glad I had worked out and not just glad I could check that task off my list. 

I got home and took my shower and began to get dressed.  That's where I encountered Satan.

I am normally good with my closet.  I like picking out what I'm  going to wear.  I teach others about seeing their closet as filled with things they love and that dressing doesn't have to be a chore.  For me, getting dressed is a delightful challenge in creativity.  I put on a pair of shorts and began to decide what I was going to pair with them.  I tried on a top I hadn't worn in a long while, and then decided I just needed to donate it.  It didn't speak to me and  showed those pesky pounds I was trying to get rid of. It needed to go, even it was animal print and on trend.  I then put on a top I like, and where as it was cute and looked good with the shorts, the sleeves were tight (were some of those pounds in my arms of all things?).  Off it came.  Top #3: a well-loved blue t-shirt with a ruffle at the bottom,  . . .that had gotten thrown in the dryer.  It may be time for a cute new blue t-shirt if I can't stretch out the one I currently own.  Top #4: Light coral cotton T with adorable lace sleeves.  I stared at myself in the mirror, liked the shirt, didn't like those pesky pounds.  I began to hear a voice in my head that said it was hopeless. The voice told me I was just going to have to get used to being heavier.  I would need to adapt to being "less-than,"  less trim, less cute, less admirable, less fashionable, just less (even though I was perceiving myself as "more"). I took off the top with a sigh and wondered where my earlier attitude of being loved and delighted over had gone. 

I went back into my closet and choose a top I often wore with the green shorts I had put on.  It has a bright floral print, and always reminds me of the day I purchased it.  It had been a day full of life and laughter as my daughter and I spent time together and just had fun.  The top made me smile, and I broke from the lies Satan was desperately trying to make me believe. 

Truth: I have some weight I should lose.  Truth: Jesus loves me.  Truth: I don't look as thin or fashionable as others.  Truth: Jesus delights in me.  Jesus has chosen me to be part of His story.  Jesus died so that my sins would never be held against me.  Jesus has entrusted me with sharing His story with others. 

I am Thomas, and sometimes I let doubt take over when I just need to choose to believe what I can't see.   

I am the one of the rich, often only willing to serve God out of my abundance and not sacrificially. 

I am one of the disciples and Jesus is preparing me to reach out to those who haven't yet heard of Him.

I am one of the disciples who need to let go of comparison, and just seek to offer God the best of whatever he asks of me.

Let the afternoon begin. It's going to be a great day!