A Conversation with the Spirit

Have you ever chatted with someone and felt as if they were using a totally different language, even though you know you are both speaking English?   I felt that way when I first started texting.  I wondered: What are these weird letter combinations?  Why isn’t the person texting me writing in complete sentences? If I ask what the letters mean, do I look stupid?  My guess is that it happens to every generation.  I’m sure I used slang terms that made my parents wonder if I was cussing.  Groups that are similar in thought, interest or belief seem to have their own language.  I admit I often don’t understand anything my husband and son are discussing once they branch into guns and hunting.  Admittedly they don’t understand what I am saying to crafty friends.  Christians are no exception.  We have our own set of terms that we fall into using.  Sometimes, like when texting abbreviations, it seems to make communication easier.

I caught myself falling into “easy Christian-ese” the other day when I was reading Psalm 103.  It’s not a habit I recommend.  The Psalm begins by declaring we should bless the Lord and not forget all He has done for us.  The psalmist then lists some amazing things God does for us, His children: He forgives our sins; He heals our diseases; He redeems our life from the pit; He crowns us with faithful love and compassion; He satisfies us with good things.  As I read I caught myself mentally giving a pious Christian nod.  I knew this stuff; I was grateful.  I checked things off a mental list of God’s benefits:

·        I asked Jesus into my heart so I am forgiven

·        I’m currently not sick so no need to worry about diseases

·        I am redeemed because I’m forgiven (since I’m not convinced I was ever in a pit, I offered a quick obligatory thanks to God)

·        Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so

·        He has given me good things like a loving family, a nice home and a well-stocked pantry. 

I religiously identified somewhat with the passage but it wasn’t reaching my heart. I just skimmed over the words forgive, heal, redeem and faithful love. They are part of the regular Christian vocabulary after all.

I think the Holy Spirit may have been a bit perturbed with me for not seeing the wonder in what the psalmist had written.

He brought verse 7 to the front and center of my thoughts.  “He revealed his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel.” (Psalm 103:7 CSB) I felt a bit of awe over the truth that Almighty God revealed who He is to a group of grumpy complaining slaves.  It was almost like God was saying, “Hey!  Over here!  I’m doing really cool and awesome things you’ll want to check out. Can you come over here? Come over here by me!  Come see! Come be with me.”    I’ve done this with people I love.  I do something I know my loved one will appreciate and I eagerly point it out because I want to experience their joy.  I want to revel in the delight I have created for someone else.  I want to relish the relationship.    

The lesson that God wants to relish His relationship with me didn’t seem to find anchor in my soul.

As I moved on to verse 8 I started to fall back into the habit of self-righteously mentally affirming what was written. I wasn’t reading the words with a seeker’s humble heart.  Psalm 103:8 says, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in faithful love.” (CSB)  God’s Spirit forced me to slow down when He asked me: How do you see this in your life right now? I paused realizing to honestly answer the question I had to face my own recent sins and failures.  The typical Christian-ese answers weren’t going to fly with God’s Holy Spirit.

It’s much easier to live a Christian life over a holy life. 

In that moment I was able to see the battle that was being fought in my heart and life. I wanted God to affirm my ideas of success and comfort more than I wanted to live a life completely sold out.

• ·        I saw the many times during any day when I was thinking only about me: not about the ones I love; not about the Kingdom of God; not about those who are lost. 
• ·        I saw the little daily decisions I made based more on fear than faith and trust.  
• ·        I saw how often I made a choice without asking God if that was how He wanted me to spend His money, if that’s how He wanted me to spend our time, if that’s how He wanted me to treat my body, His temple.

God wondrously kept whispering “I love you.”

He didn’t raise His voice to me. He didn’t slam a door, give me an ultimatum, or ground me from any fun.  God was holding out His arms waiting to draw me into His all-encompassing embrace.  His gaze was focused on me.  “Hey!  Over here!  I’m doing really cool and awesome things you’ll want to check out. Can you come over here? Come over here by me!  Come see! Come be with me.”   It’s as if I could see His eyes twinkling as He anticipated how delighted I would be at what He wanted to reveal about Himself to me.  He was waiting for me to lay aside my selfish wants and ideas again, and embrace His compassion and grace and faithful love. 

I don’t think God cares how Christian we are. 

I think God wants to relish a relationship with us more deeply than we can imagine. To be with Him though, we have to face up to our own sin and accept His compassion and grace and love.  There’s no need to fear that He’ll be angry with us. He is the God who forgives all iniquity.  He heals all diseases, including fearfulness, pride, worry, self-centeredness and more. He is ready to redeem anyone from the pit they’ve dug themselves into.  We need to come humbly and honestly.  He will crown us with love and compassion

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in faithful love.” (Psalm 103:8, CSB)  How do you see this in your life right now?